5 habits that will help you stop taking things personally.
Life isn’t always kind to us. We can’t experience our journeys without enduring some hurdles. Due to this, we end up taking things personally as a byproduct of our difficult experiences. However, there are strategies that can help you stop taking things so personally during negative experiences, and instead learn them.
At the end of the day, we are responsible for how we feel. Tuning out unsolicited outside noise is definitely a lot easier said than done, but it’s still not impossible. You just have to learn how to implement the five habits listed below to help solve this conundrum. Once you’ve mastered these tips, you will significantly increase your tolerance levels to criticism.
Constructive criticism is actually a good thing.
We’ve been conditioned to resist criticism because we don’t want to hurt our egos. We almost feel like we’re getting ambushed. However, criticism can actually be constructive by helping us grow. By being more receptive to receiving feedback, we will allow ourselves to be more open to understanding people’s advice. By internalizing their input, you can learn how to better your circumstances. In life, there’s always room for improvement. Constructive criticism doesn’t always feel great. But keep in mind that nobody is perfect.
Do not define yourself based on other people’s opinions.
Everyone’s got an opinion about something. Sometimes it’s solicited, and sometimes it’s unsolicited. Usually when someone expresses an unsolicited opinion, we tend to have a chip on our shoulder. Understanding that you can’t please everyone is one way to stop taking things so personally. Although everyone is entitled to their opinion, you can take your power back by not allowing people’s negative comments to affect your day. Once you learn to fully accept yourself and understand your worth, you will stop defining yourself based on society’s perception.
Learn to let some things go.
Refusing to let go of things actually does you more harm than good. Allowing a situation to make you more bitter will not sit well with your psyche. Sometimes it’s actually a lot healthier to accept a situation and gracefully move on from it. Try to rebrand a conundrum into something more positive- An experience that you can learn from. Once you master this skill, you will feel unstoppable.
Keep yourself busy.
This piece of advice might seem irrelevant, but it’s actually extremely valid. If you keep yourself busy, you won’t have time to think about other people’s perception of yourself. Staying occupied will distract you from allowing other people’s thoughts to live rent free in your mind. Make a conscious effort to fill your day with things that bring you genuine joy- Your family, friends, work and hobbies. If something is out of mind, then it will be out of sight; and thus, you won’t give yourself the opportunity to reflect on other people’s unsolicited comments.
Have some compassion for yourself.
You’re a human. You are not perfect. Sometimes we forget these simple facts. However, sometimes in life, we set ourselves to fail. We set unrealistic standards for ourselves and bite off more than we can chew. When things don’t manifest in the way we want it to, we start to take things personally. We get harder on ourselves and question our worth. To help resolve this issue, try to appreciate yourself more. Acknowledge how far you've come, and how much courage it took you to spearhead your initiatives. Ultimately, having some compassion for yourself will help you stop taking things so personally.
“Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”
- Don Miguel Ruiz