4 tips that will help you deal with gaslighting.

Gaslighting can make you feel extremely uncomfortable. However, it’s important to understand that there’s a subtle difference between someone gaslighting you and someone offering an opinion that’s different from yours. Everyone has not mastered the art of understanding when they are getting gaslit. However, if your feelings are being discounted, your emotions are unacknowledged, or you are being accused of overreacting, there is a high chance you are experiencing gaslighting.

So, what exactly is gaslighting?

Gaslighting is when someone is trying to intentionally manipulate you by making you doubt your feelings, perception, outlook on a situation, or reality. When someone is trying to gaslight you, they are hoping to make you doubt yourself and leave you puzzled. This is so you obey their hidden agenda. When you’re being gaslighted, you are typically apologizing excessively, feeling confused about a situation, and questioning whether you are good enough.

Some common phrases to help you identify gaslighting:

“You’re blowing this out of proportion.”
“That actually never occurred.”
“You’re making that up.”
“You’re being way too dramatic about this.”
“You don’t know what you’re even talking about.”

The following four tips will help you navigate gaslighting, with the hopes of preventing you from being manipulated.

Learn to walk away.

When you are being gaslit, you are going to naturally experience a lot of uncomfortable emotions. You may feel sad, angry, confused, worried, and even fearful. However, you have to try your best to not allow these emotions to dictate your reaction towards the person allegedly gaslighting you. Instead, it would be judicious for you to just walk away from the situation. This will allow you to separate from the clamour, and really reflect on whether you are actually being gaslit. If your reaction is based on the cluster of emotions you’ll be enduring, then that can make the situation even more nebulous.

Learn to speak up.

Don’t be afraid to speak up after you’ve cleared your mind and assessed the situation. If you are convinced you are being gaslit, then don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. People who gaslight others feel accomplished. If you call them out on their manipulation, they’ll be shocked. You’ll set boundaries that their behavior is unacceptable, and you will not tolerate it anymore. Moreover, you’ll appear to be much more confident. Confidence will always intimidate a gaslighter because they’ll realize they can’t control your mind anymore.

Own your reality.

Since you will become confident once you learn how to speak up for yourself, you will be able to own your truth. You will be able to focus on your version of the story and not allow anyone to twist the facts. You will stop questioning yourself. That is extremely important because once a gaslighter gets a whiff of you catching onto their mind games, they will try to make you believe the circumstances were different. Due to this, they will make you question your reality. However, once they challenge you, don’t be afraid to humbly shut them down and let them know your truth. Refuse to allow their version of reality to alter yours. Protect your version of the story at all costs.

Take care of yourself.

Once you come to the realization that you are being gaslit, you need to take good care of yourself to improve your state of mind. Getting emotionally manipulated is difficult to navigate, so you need to implement self care remedies to get yourself back. Snapping out of the rut that gaslighting puts you in takes time though. Don’t be discouraged if you’re not back to where you originally were overnight.

Some positive activities that can help you include:

Spending time alone, reading a book or listening to music.
Meditating.
Spending time with your real friends and family.
Try to make some new hobbies.
Exercising.

“Gaslighting is mind control to make victims doubt their reality.”

– Tracy Malone