5 ways to overcome your shy nature.

Shy folk typically feel like social interactions are a chore. They struggle with navigating simple conversations. Sometimes they are even misunderstood as being arrogant.

Being shy isn’t a bad thing. It’s actually very endearing at times. However, being shy all the time isn’t advantageous either. There is a time and place to be shy, and it’s important to overcome your shyness during situations where confidence and assertiveness is necessary. This isn’t to suggest you should completely change who you are. Accepting yourself is crucial for self-love. We are just merely advocating for you to become a heightened version of yourself.

If you’re struggling with overcoming your shyness, we implore you to check out the tips below.

Diagnose the cause.

Your shyness stems from somewhere. Is it because of your childhood? Is it because of bullying? Is it because of certain life experiences? Is it because you lack confidence? A myriad of reasons can be attributed to your shyness. However, before tackling and overcoming your shyness, you need to address the cause(s). Ultimately, our personal experiences affect the way we socially interact with others. Albeit, addressing these issues might be an uncomfortable experience, you will end up being a much more introspective individual. You will develop the skills to approach certain situations with much more clarity.

Understand what your strengths are.

We all have strengths and we all have weaknesses. If you’re particularly shy, there’s a high probability that you are focusing on your weaknesses. You might even define your self worth based on these qualities. However, if you want to counteract this habit, construct a list of all your personal strengths. Reflect on all of the qualities you listed. Try to understand how you can magnify those traits in future social interactions. Essentially, this list will help remind you that you have a lot to offer. Never sell yourself short.

Set small goals for yourself.

Change can never be achieved overnight. It takes a lot of time and patience to see results within ourselves. The goal here is to not become a completely different person overnight. The goal here is to slowly come out of your shell so you don’t block your blessings. Identify some goals for yourself and learn how conquering your shyness can help you achieve them.

For instance, some small goals can be:

“I am going to take XXX’s offer and go out tonight.”
“I am going to ask my colleague’s how their weekend went.”
“I am going to ask my professor a question during class.”

These aren’t super scary goals to achieve. Just start small to build the confidence and experience to tackle bigger goals in the future.

There’s a time and a place to be shy.

There’s nothing wrong with being shy. In fact, it’s sometimes endearing. However, you may be blocking your blessings if you’re shy in certain circumstances. For instance, if expanding your social circle is a goal of yours, you can’t ignore a prospect’s invitation to hang out. You need to vanquish your shyness to get what you want in life. When all is said and done, you’ll regret the opportunities you don’t take. Therefore, learning when to turn your shyness on and off is paramount for your personal growth.

Don’t neglect the power of eye contact.

A lack of eye contact is a main giveaway to detect shyness. Be honest and ask yourself if you avoid eye contact with people during a conversation. If you do, then try to make more of an effort to make eye contact during your social interactions. By making eye contact, you are exemplifying confidence and attentiveness to whomever you are having a dialogue with. Moreover, you will be perceived as friendly and respectful. Sometimes a lack of eye contact can be translated as arrogance. However, ensuring you are engaging in a conversation (Even if it’s just with your eyes) suggests that you care about the other person’s commentary.

“Shyness is invariably a suppression of something. It's almost a fear of what you're capable of.”

– Rhys Ifans